Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Devastated: Bleeding and Spotting

I want to get back to this place. 
That place was a place of peace and comfort, and that was only 3 days ago.

Yesterday, started off normally, I even worked out did 2 miles and 5 rounds of some exercises I saw on Instagram. Later on in the day I took my car to be fixed. Mason and I went to chic fil a. I got my car back, and then I went to go visit Stasi. I told her I was prego, and she didn't want to know. Oops, well I was about to leave but bathroom stop was first. I looked down when I was preparing to use the bathroom and saw the bottom of my underwear was filled with blood. 

Devastation has hit. It has been only a week and half since I found out I was pregnant! I'm comparing this time around to last time and it seems to be turning into that heartache really fast, and I REALLY thought this time was going to be the ONE, the EASY/SMOOTH pregnancy. 


I went to the ER, but of course they didn't really give me much to go on. I've gone through the spotting and bleeding memo before. It didn't end well, so I'm pretty nervous/scared. 
I don't have severe cramping, but I can't help but think that severe sharp pain is coming along with lots of blood soon. 
I'm trying to remain positive, but God, it is hard. It's going on the 2nd day of spotting. I haven't experienced the huge amount of blood like I did yesterday it is just brown spotting, and only seen when I wipe. 

I did another progesterone test today. On my way back to work from the blood test, and I had a little break down. The tears were tears of fear, anger, hopelessness, and confusion!
  Hopefully I'll get the results of the blood test tomorrow. An ultrasound is next Monday. Hopefully, baby is still there by then. 

Scared and Worried

I don't want to go through this again. 


I want to get back to that place of peace and comfort. 

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