Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm Sorry for the Rain

mmmm. Cocoa Chex Mix
That stuff in the morning is the best, along with peach flavored oatmeal and water.
So last night my husband said, “You always apologize for stuff I notice. You apologize for stuff that’s not your fault…or anyone’s fault, you would apologize for the rain.”
I can’t help but laugh at myself! I can honestly say, I don’t know why I apologize for stuff that I shouldn’t even say sorry for.
A person: My back hurts.
Me: Well, I’m sorry.
I guess in a way it’s the easy answer out! So that I won’t have to go into deep thought or deep conversation about whatever the other person said. It’s my easy way out of communicating! Do I think it’s some psychological shit in my brain? Not really. I wasn’t brought up in a family that made me say sorry for everything. But! Maybe it stems from some subconscious thoughts that I’m a failure or that I made something happen; so therefore, I need to say sorry for the happenstance.  Maybe that’s my answer: (1) Getting out of communicating and (2) Subconscious thoughts of life failure. Now that I actually think about this, I’m not pleased! That part of me needs a change. I definitely do not want to think of myself as a failure, and I also know for a fact that my communicating skills need improvement. Not my “in general” communicating, but my deep thoughts about a situation or communicating a solution to a problem me and my husband may have. Ha! It sounds like someone is in need of some therapy, but I really do feel with time and continual work ethic I can nip that crap in the bud. I just have to!   
I wonder if anyone else does this and for what reason they do. 

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