Thursday, February 10, 2011

#41 of 365. All My Thoughts in One

February 10th/Part of School at Night

Picture:  School is the devil. I feel very inferior in this career path I've chosen. I don't have much experience, and I'll be damned if I go back to school right now. I need a lonnnnggg break. I just pray someone will hire me when that time comes. 
I made an 80 on my resume and cover letter that was recently turned into my very hard-handed English teacher. I am not pleased with that grade. At least she didn't email me telling me, that I was in her "maybe" pile.
School can cause me to be a "debbie-downer", and a semi-work-alcoholic, perfectionist. 
Also, I've realized that I need to do a whole lot better at learning the law lingo. I hate that other colleagues of mine are able to articulate their words in ways that the orignal case file has. Sometimes it is beyond baffeling. I'm constantly looking up words like I'm the "tar tar" baby of the century.   
I'm always competing with my classmates, and trying to somehow land on the TOP!

Other: AHH!!! World of my orange blossom, oh how I’ve missed writing about topics to my hearts desire.
Lately, I have been posting a picture around 10-11 pm, so I am trying to get it out as soon as possible so that I can rest my weary eyes. Go, go, go has been my memo.
Right now I’m going to ramble on about whatever pops into my little brain.
• I love rollups! They are delicious. They are an old childhood candy that I adore. I keep a box on my desk to pacify my sweet, fruity, roll-up craving. I will say that, when I was a child they tasted a bit different, more authentic.
• I have tried to eat cream of wheat again, but I’m not sure if I can go back to that childhood delight. It reminds me of the dreaded texture of grits. Yuck! But I will make cheese grits for my lovely husband, because he thinks the taste is, I would say, deluxe.
• I went to my college’s talent show for the first time February 9th, which is sad, because I’ve been going to the school since 2007. I did see some nice talents, but I will say those who tried to rap sucked like stinky man balls. They should find a new dream, if you ask me.
There was a poor girl that was nervous to death. I can say this because I graced her presence in the school bathroom before she performed a song by Adele. (Adele makes me happy). She, as well as her friends was trying to help her calm her nerves. When she finally got on stage, the crowd talked through her whole performance, and I heard one girl in the background say, “Get on BEAT!” The look on that girl’s nervous face was a look of horror and embarrassment, when she heard that. I’ll give her props for trying. I couldn’t do it.
Doing karaoke in front of a small crowd on a cruise ship is not so nerve wrecking though. Plus! It is karaoke; no one is expected to be able to carry a note!
• I’ve been copping better without my hubby being around. And I’ve learned not to constantly remind him of not staying with me, because frankly it brings him down.
• I’m wearing my wig I bought back in the summer of 2010. It itches though. I am not familiar with the art of wig-wearing. I think I’m supposed to wear a doo-rag of some sort to go over my hair so that the lining of the wig does not touch my scalp.
• I’m going to add yoga to my routine of work outs. I’m excited about it. It will be somewhat of my spiritual meditation time. I need that once in a while, being how I don’t go to the church I want to go to.
• I have stopped calorie counting, due to laziness, but I still watch what I eat. I will say that lately, I’ve had tuna sandwich cravings and now Zaxby’s kid’s meal chicken fingers. Oh, SO good!
• I’m still working on my self-esteem. I haven’t worn makeup until today, and that consisted of covering my dark circles, and a little loose powder. I hate my face. It’s kind of fat, acne has left my face with darker pigments, and my dark circles also are accompanied with wrinkles. I’m trying everything I can to make them less noticeable without wearing paint. I’ve been using castor oil under them as of two days ago. I’m not sure if I see an improvement. My hubby notices my dark circles, so I’m sure others do. Don’t get me started on pictures with no makeup. I swear the camera cracks a little bit every time.
So what do I like about my face? I like my eye shape, and when I can find someone to give me an arch on my eyebrows I like that too. My lips are nice. Everything else though, I wish I could redo.
So like I said, I’m still working on self-esteem.  
While at the talent show, I saw this mysterious girl that I’ve see around campus throughout my college career. She recently went natural, and she’s just pretty. I swear she could grace the pages of teen vogue or be a run way model. She’s much taller than my 5’2. I love her style and everything. I must say I envy her face. Yesterday, I looked like an old, frumpy, fart.
Self esteem issues written all over this. L
• My new show to watch is Spartacus: gods of the arena. It’s so provocative, but my flesh gives in. I can’t wait for True Blood to come back on.    
• I made an 81 on my Business and Professional Writing exam. That test was difficult, and I knew I failed it. But! Nevertheless, I passed! *insert happy dance*
• I miss hubby….it’s going to be even worse when he leaves March 28th for basic training. *tears* I wonder if he’ll write me while he is unable to use a telephone?
• I love Nabisco’s white yogurt covered pretzels. YUM!
• I and hubby can’t wait to have our own little bundle of joy. Of course, I know that nothing will be about us anymore, and I’ll have no time for anything, not to mention a list of other stuff. But I suppose it’ll be worth it. One thing I don’t want to do is loose my body like I see countless other women do. I’ll want to kill myself, because then I’ll think my whole being is ugly and ya ya ya. Not good for me.
• Paper cuts are the devil!
• I'm so tired, I can't think anymore. But knowing me, I'll lie down and start to think of everything! Isn't that always how it works. 

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