|February 1st/I'm Negative|
This week has started off so marvelously pitiful emotionally.
Picture: Sunday, I was called a negative, unhappy person that needs to light a candle in my darkness, hence the picture of the day. I suppose my true self comes out in this one.
Monday, was just filled with moments of unhappiness and loneliness. Not to mention, looking at other couple’s happiness made me envy their relationship just a bit. The one thing I saw that I wished I had was the “oneness” factor about spirituality. Someone is always here, and other person there. It’s either me or the other that must change to cope with the other. I knew this before getting into it, I knew it and it’s hard, very hard.
My family has run my husband away too. They cause too much stress.
And today, I woke up icky. My sister got on my nerves royally! She was her usual whine in the morning because she doesn’t want to get dressed and do what she has to. That’s not something I would like to do at 5:50 in the morning.
I’m falling back into my old patterns of depression and anxiety, because happiness has ran away from me and I’m left with apparently more darkness than I had before and lonely feelings to compliment. I’m not even motivated to do anything. I just want to curl up in a ball, fall asleep, and not wake up for a long time.