Thursday, January 6, 2011

I'm Looking at Her

a down day 

It’s really funny how you can know someone for a long time, and still find out different things about them, that you never knew! Humans are so complex and sometimes deceiving. On the outward appearance people can look so put together, but on the inside a raging mess!    
My friend brought up a great point on her blog about herself in which I can relate to as well, competing. I find myself trying to compete with others on any or everything! It’s not like I even contemplate in my head anything about it, I guess because I’ve done it for so long it’s become second nature. I can find myself getting jealous at a coworker for getting rewarded through “thanks, you’re so smart for thinking of that, or we don’t ever want you to leave” type compliments. So in return, I think of ways in which I can do better than her. That type of competition I do not think is wrong. After all it is a job, and I want to be the best in order to work up the totem pole in my career that I’m trying to start.
But what I think needs to be reevaluated are the times that I look at a girl’s hair, skin, or clothes and get envious of her and in some ways want to compete against her looks! I swear I look at more girls than I do guys, you would think I was a lesbian haha. Plus I’m married now; I can’t look at men anyway. As I get back on topic,  I need to be comfortable in my own skin, find my own sense of style, and continue to take care of my hair so that it can be that long, flowing, and curly hair that I’ve been dreaming of.   
So, is looking at “out fits of the day” or eye-shadow ideas on YouTube wrong? I think not! I get ideas from them, and it’s usually not exactly how they had it anyway. The ideas are usually cute; I can’t help but try it out for myself sometimes. You can’t blame me there, right?

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